I love breastfeeding. There is something so special about the closeness of that little body pressed to your chest and the satisfied glug as he takes in the milk. There’s also something very satisfying about seeing a baby grow and develop all on the milk that you have provided.
I didn’t always feel this way. I wasn’t a breastfeeding natural. It took us a good few weeks (months? Its hard to remember now) to get the hang of it all. It is a familiar tale for many women of cracked nipples, taking baby off the breast to let them heal, nipple thrush, low supply, courses of Motillium and worst of all, a period of breast rejection. They were some dark days!
But satisfyingly enough, we overcome all of these problems to the point where although my son at one point would only have the bottle, he now won’t take it at all and will only have the breast.
I am proud of my achievements and I believe I have ended up doing my baby a favour by giving him breastmilk, particularly given his propensity to eczema etc which the experts tell me is assisted by breastmilk.
But. I cannot help but feel enraged at some of the stories I have heard from other women who have chosen to combine breastfeeding and formula or who have chosen to give formula only to their babies.
One woman in my mother’s group was told because she gives her baby formula in the evening her child could die! When I had a terribly unsettled baby who was basically awfully hungry the midwives at my early childhood centre did not even bring up the possibility of formula top ups. When a Tresillian nurse recommended it, it was with so much guilt and after receiving much criticism from other women around me that I began adding formula to my son’s diet. It was an awful time. It was not until I visited a pediatrician who looked me in the eye and said “don’t be afraid to give him a big bottle of formula if you think he needs it” that I felt this sense of relief and was given some confidence that I was doing the right thing.
Breastmilk is best for the physical health of babies, no argument from me here. But what about babies’ emotional health? The Tresillian nurse told me to give my baby formula top ups because the relationship between us around food was about trust – he has to trust that I can provide him with what he needs. With the breast that wasn’t happening hence the fighting and struggling in the form of breast rejection. It made me realize I should have offered the bottle earlier.
And what about mum’s emotional health? Struggling on for months with painful nipples or low supply or ongoing feeding problems which are almost always accompanied by an unsettled baby is just awful. If the mother is finding things that tough and there is no light in sight, then surely she is better off weaning and coping, than pursuing breastfeeding, being miserable and having a hard time bonding with her baby.
No doubt breast is best and advocates of breastmilk have done great things to encourage breastfeeding in our society. But I cannot believe there are so many people so passionate about the issue they are making women, who only want the best for their babies, feel guilty if they are unable to do so.
Surely there are more life and death issues for people to get upset about?
No comments:
Post a Comment